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Coping with Grief and Finding Meaning Through Spirituality: A Tribute to my Mom


During this time of year, a recurring wave of grief and pain engulfs me, a poignant reminder of my mother's passing several years ago. I have hope that one day, the heaviness in my chest will lift, leaving behind only the memories of her grace, wisdom, and compassion. I realize that my health and wellness suffer at this time of year. Now that I've made the connection, it is my hope that I can heal the grief and, in doing so, heal myself.

Embracing Memories of a Remarkable Mother: Claire

My mother, Claire, was beautiful both inside and out, and she provided me with a profound gift—unconditional love. She made me feel special and valued. Even in the midst of trauma within our family and generational trauma always in the background, her love was a constant. She was by no means perfect. But she was also living in the middle of ongoing trauma, attempting to protect me from my father. She could not have known how impossible that really was.  Her blind spots came from her life experiences. Despite all of that, this gift of unconditional love and making me aware of my value, I realize, is precious and still impacts me today in positive ways. I was presented with multiple complex traumas, yet somehow managed to complete high school with honors, graduate from college with honors, create family, and find a sense of purpose and meaning. In short, the unconditional motherly love and compassion were the key ingredients for me to still find some sort of productive life.

Navigating the Depths of Grief:

Grief, like an intricate maze, fills my thoughts once more this year. Its layers run deep, and at times, it becomes blurred whether it's pure grief or something else fueling the physical and emotional anguish and physical pain that accompanies every November.

Grief's Impact on Physical Health:

It's important to recognize that grief can have a significant impact on physical health. The emotional turmoil associated with grief can lead to stress, sleep disturbances, confusion, and even immune system suppression, making individuals more susceptible to illness. In some cases, grief may exacerbate existing health conditions or contribute to the development of new ones.

Understanding this connection between grief and physical health underscores the importance of addressing grief as a holistic experience.

A Journey of Healing and Understanding:

In an effort to share my experiences and offer solace, I've decided to delve into the topic of grief further. Perhaps in the next blog post, I'll explore generational trauma as well. But grief is the outstanding emotion presently that creates pain, both emotional and physical. My hope is that others may find it helpful, and together, we can alleviate some of the suffering.

What is Grief?

Grief, a multifaceted and profoundly emotional response, primarily arises from loss, often linked to the death of a loved one. Nonetheless, it can also be triggered by various life events such as the conclusion of a significant relationship, job loss, or major life transitions. This emotional journey encompasses a broad spectrum of feelings, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even numbness, as well as physical pain and physical issues. It stands as a universal human experience, significantly affecting mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

The Role of Spirituality:

Finding Meaning in Loss:

One of the ways spirituality aids in navigating grief is by imparting a sense of purpose and significance amid sorrow. Numerous spiritual traditions emphasize that suffering and loss are intrinsic to the human experience, potentially leading to personal growth and transformation. This perspective empowers individuals to discover purpose in their grief, viewing it as a catalyst for spiritual development.

Spiritual Practices for Coping:

Spiritual practices like prayer, meditation, and mindfulness serve as potent tools for managing grief. They foster peace, and inner strength amidst emotional turmoil. These practices facilitate the processing of grief, the management of challenging emotions, and the ability to reach moments of clarity and insight.

Tools for Moving Through Grief:

Moving through and growing from grief is a deeply personal journey. A one-size-fits-all approach therefore will not work. Key tools and strategies include allowing oneself to grieve without judgment, acknowledging and expressing emotions, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support from friends, family, or support groups. Learning and embracing mindfulness and meditation techniques to stay grounded and accept the pain of grief is key. Self healing with reiki or some type of energy work, can also balance the body and be very useful.

In Conclusion:

Grief is a universal human experience, demanding resilience and introspection. It can cause physical issues as well, or make diseases flare up or worsen. It is therefore vital to address it.  Spirituality and its associated practices offer comfort, meaning, and support during times of sorrow. Progressing through grief necessitates self-compassion, emotional expression. The utilization of mindfulness and meditation are some of the essential tools for healing. It is crucial to recognize that each individual's grief journey is unique. Ultimately, it can be within the depths of grief that individuals can discover healing, transformation, and a renewed sense of purpose and meaning in their lives.

I love you and miss you Mom. Thank you for the gifts you provided in the midst of chaos.




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